Got a pill to make it all simple?
When I was younger, I made plans to save the world. Why don’t the rich people just give a percent of their money to the poor throughout the world, I’d ask a friend at school.
He replied with lofty words and political jargon.
I nodded slowly, pretending he made sense. I hated the fact that life was not simple. I was drawn to my friend’s knowledge.
What I didn’t realize was that I was one of those rich people in the world. I should have asked myself: Why don’t you give a percent of your wealth to the poor, Nate?
I like to know how things work, but life is not something I can master. Tic-Tac-Toe on the other hand I have mastered. Mathematically, if you play me, you will never win with my knowledge, but we will tie if you have mastered the game as well.
Yes, I am that good. I have it all figured out.
Well, Tic-Tac-Toe that is.
The problem is my God-suit doesn’t fit so well. The suit tends to make my mind wander in a terrible race. To know all feels… unnatural for me.
I wonder, I wonder, I wonder:
“God, why do you allow poverty and suffering?”
“How can I love you without seeing you?”
“How can I love others when I struggle to love myself?”
Why why why and a bottle of whine is my favorite dish.
Here’s the deal. Some things may become clearer, but I am no less of a man for not having answers.
God is more qualified than me to know all, so maybe I shouldn’t beat myself up for not performing tasks in God’s job description in the first place.
“Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know they do wrong. (2) Do not be quick with your mouth, / do not be hasty in your heart / to utter anything before God. / God is in heaven / and you are on earth, / So let your words be few.”
-Ecclesiastes 5:1-2
“Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God.”
-Ecclesiastes 5:7
Comments
Thank you for going to help the people in Honduras. I was born and raised there, and am touched by your kindness. How may I help? Hablo espanol muy bien.
Posted by: Suyapa Neda | February 9, 2006 09:56 AM