I have been an AT&T and/or Bell South and/or South Central Bell customer (with the same phone number) for 33+ years. In all of those years, the contacts from the company generally encouraged me to add-on a new service or to combine my services into some neat package that inevitably costs me more money in the long run. Well, today is different *ahem*.
This morning's email included an estore_bellsouth.com address and the subject, "Our way of saying thanks for being a valued customer." I am intrigued, so I open the email. The opening sentence:
"As a token of our appreciation for being our valued AT&T online customer, we would like to offer you this exciting opportunity to take a free personality quiz, a $24.95 value."
To say the least, I was not impressed with this generous offer to "find out what kind of thinker am I?". So for future reference, I offer the following list of items that I would prefer NOT to receive as a way of saying thanks for being a valued customer:
10. A corporate birthday card...all that tells me is that you have too much information about me and cannot handle the pressure not to do something stupid with it.
9. Mail or contacts that offer to switch me to AT&T.( See opening sentence from 33+ year customer).
8. Basically any small, semi-useless item that was mass-produced and distributed by a marketing merchandise firm (and produced in China, India, or Mexico).
7. A low fee credit card with an outstanding low start-up rate that converts to the rate of inflation in Brazil... I do my banking at the bank, and I would equally prefer that the bank not attempt to sell me phone service.
6. Any sort of telephone call between the hours of 5:00PM and 7:00PM that begins with a long pause and concludes with a heavily accented voice who can do no better than butcher my last name with his/her greeting. I won't talk with my mouth full if you won't call during the evening mealtime, deal?
5. Any sort of merchandise offer, especially small, enticing, electronic gadgets that are touted to be "free" but include (in the fine print) something like a $9.95 shipping and handling charge. My definition of "free" means no cost to the customer.
4. Any mail that appears to be an invoice but actually turns out to be mail from an AT&T partner selling insurance, retirement plans, replacement windows, etc. Trust me. I know how to shop for these kinds of things...and it generally does NOT include contacting the phone company.
3. Free newsletter of the month whether by email or snail mail. Helpful hints on how to use my phone are wasted on me. I dial. Phone rings. Someone (usually) answers. That's all I really need to know, really.
2. Jelly of the month club-type stuff... I might be enticed, however, with an imported coffee-of-the month "free" offer. (See caveat in item 5)
1. Any sort of "free" survey whether it be personal, corporate, marketing or otherwise (unless there is a guarantee of cash payment for the information)...including personality quizzes. I have a personality and I do not feel the need to study it further...at least not via the phone company!
And as a kicker, please do not attempt to con me into believing that your $24.95 "free personality quiz" is any more valuable than the freebies available on any number of online sites. Do your homework and send out a list of all the free personality quizzes...otherwise, thanks, but no thanks.