The de-briefing posts from Blogher are raising great questions and have fulfilled the prophetic discomfort from rich discussions objective. Blogrolls, links, popularity, and visibility are interrelated...but how does it work?
Ashley Richards's post-Blogher conference to-do list includes the following item: "Ask for Links (my emphasis) - Halley Suit said to just ask for someone to link to you and to ask 3 times. (Kinda the same logic if you're trying to get someone to go on a date with you.)"
Personally, I lean a little more toward what Staci Kramer has to say:
"Like many of the people I met at BlogHer, I’m uncomfortable asking for links. I’d like to think the work speaks for itself but the work can only do the talking when people know it’s there."
And Mena Trott hit the nail on the head with her warning (quoted down the page in Staci's post):
"For people who are looking for traffic be careful what you ask for because you may regret it. It’s more rewarding to write for people who care about you..."
I want to walk around this Link to Me idea just a bit and ask myself, "Why do I link to other blogs?" and "Why should others link to me?"
The first question is tough because my reasons for linking to other blogs has changed since I started blogging 16 months ago. My first blogroll is more of a birds-of-a-feather variety of people associated with education, educational technology, and social networking in the education arena. There is a loosely defined sense of community (at least for me) within those blogs. I do not always agree with everything posted in those blogs, I am linked directly from only a handful of those on my blogroll, but I still read and comment on those blogs because of their real sense of voice, the opinions expressed, and my personal research interests. I have never sensed a popularity contest within the education blogs, if anything, I have sensed occasional exclusivity or distancing...and never a request to Link to Me.
Immediately following the BlogNashville event, I received my first ever "Link to Me" email from one of the presenters...for some reason, that terse request raised the cynical hairs on the back of my neck and affected the way that I viewed her posts (after adding her blog to my blogroll). I wonder if I would have felt differently if she had been recommended by another blogger, if we shared a few more things in common, or if she had ever commented on my blog (I had posted numerous times on hers).
And then, there was an invitation to meet other bloggers in an informal, face-to-face, encounter here in Nashville. For many of those people, I have very little in common (other than geography and an interest in blogging)...for some, they are so far off the charts for me that I have trouble reading their left-wing/right-wing mud-slinging rants as anything more than unconstructive venting. I simply prefer more facts and a little less passionate rhetoric. But somehow, getting to know the people behind the blogs on a more personal basis has made it OK for me to keep those links close at hand (and in my handy aggregator). Bottom line: I like these people because they seem to be real people with real blog voices, and for the most part, real senses of humor.
Perhaps my most unusual blogroll link is to an individual who I discovered via the ageless project. She and I were born within a day or so of one another. That may not seem to be much in common, however, if you look for 55 year-old bloggers, it is a low level definition of 'minority'...and we deserve to be linked *grin*.
Finally, why should you link to me? I am convinced more than ever that blogging is not about the technology, nor is it about rankings, nor even the passionate messages (however distorted those messages may be). There seems to be a groundswell of need to come from our 20th century cocoons and engage one another. Blogs can be a catalyst to connect people in conversation: some online, and more and more in a much more intimate, heartfelt, personal way. I really don't want to talk to my blog (or anyone else's), I find people (and some dogs) to be much better company and conversation. If you want me to be part of your community and conversation, then ask for a link...if you are only interested in popularity, I'd rather you tell me so and move on.
Late Update: Aunt B and friends have weighed in on this with some interesting discussion.